Exterior

I know you have been waiting to actually see some cool stuff & I appreciate your patience - I have no excuses except to say I've been really dicking around recently and sitting still to write these has been tough with all the lounging I've been doing.

This isn't a diary, you're here for the pics, and as much as I want to make this like my middle school xanga (does it still exist on the internet??? I feel like someone just walked over my grave... I hope I scrubbed it...). I'm going to try to overshare slightly less since I've had like 600 views. I'm feeling POPULAR, guys.

As a recap this is what the exterior looks like:

We really want to really ramp up the mid-century aesthetic while also being hip and cool (like me, duh). My bff Sara went with me to Vibrant after we bought the house and it got me really inspired. For those of you who are not local or who have not been to Vibrant because their menu is not appealing for you, here's some stuff I lifted off Yelp because I felt weird taking photos:

I love the cream with that kind of soft terracotta color and interesting awning that has kind of a diner-esque vibe. Also if you are on the fence about Vibrant let me just tell you they have a rosemary something soda that is incredible and you should try it. SORRY I CAN'T BE MORE SPECIFIC I'M REALLY BUSY LOUNGING.

Here's a view of the front door and side patio - I love all these weird elements together. A little contemporary and a little mid century and totally bright and happy. My friend (and employer) Allie told me it's Australian design and boy am I IN to that (if you are too, here are some links for you to drool to your heart's content - 1. TRIAS  2. EXPAT (not quite Australian) 3. Local Project 4. AIDA)

On an unrelated note, Vibrant is also home to my favorite piece of art, which is my favorite because it looks like butts:

With that as my inspiration, I tried to deconstruct what I really loved about it and attempted to find those elements in the context of a residential home (aside from the butts).

First I looked for painted brick facades with that mid century feel - something to back up what I already felt in my heart... that that pink brick was not doing anything for anyone.

The white with the warm wood is not breaking my heart a bit.

One of the biggest things that bugs me about the elevation are the front windows because they're not evenly spaced on their own masses - there's absolutely no reason for that aside from the aesthetic preferences of a goober at some point in the past that has long been ejected from this final product.

This was the closest I came to liking windows that weren't just single lites -

This doesn't even qualify for the situation we've got, so I'm back to the drawing board. The windows are from 1965 anyway, I really doubt they've been replaced in all that time because they look identical to the ones that were on Sara Rose. Good on the original builder for waterproofing some windows that have lasted a billion years but their time here is coming to and end and we're going to need to put in something that saves a little AC.

So after fiddling with it a little while and considering what an HOA would let me do, this is where I landed:

I want to even out the windows on the left mass to give it some continuity with the right mass. I'm also going to replace the front door with a window (part of the new layout - stay tuned for that!)

Originally I wanted black windows - I don't mind the contrast but GOD they are expensive. I didn't even price out these weird bump out cubes on the right because let's be real. I'm still polling some options but I think the profile isn't as slim as the ones I like anyway (I don't want a ton of black, just a touch) so I'm thinking maybe they'll be ok in white? I like the ones on Vibrant (which I think are technically silver) and the white modern farmhouse above didn't do contrast windows and I like that really clean look.

Before you ask - the ceiling in that room comes down to 8ft to accommodate the upgrades they did with AC & electrical in 1985 so I can't do the classic window point  -

We are making due, but even though we've had a few setbacks in my Ultimate Dreams department I still think it's going to be a pretty sheila.

I also liked the kind of creamy color instead of your traditional stark white. Just trying to eke a little closer to my ultimate goal of living on the set of A Single Man and letting Tom Ford run my wardrobe.

What do you guys think?

WINDOW OPINIONS

Gotta be black for the DRAMA!

Black's too much - keep it simple with white!

pollcode.com free polls

In keeping with the inspo I really loved the stained wood element and while I definitely do not have a pocket full of gold to wrap the house in it, I think that front gable to could stand to be accented. Then it got me to thinking about the crooked as shit column on the front of the house:

what happened here????

So obviously we have to replace that column but I want to do something interesting and also try to ensure this isn't going to happen again. I'm thinking I'll move the front door and replace that door with a skinny window like the ones on the right mass -

Current front door will match these guys, front door will move to be perpendicular to the street.

Then I want to wrap that same cool element we want to do on the gable around the front door and that side elevation where I have a ton of awesome honeysuckle growing:

That way the stained wood hits on more than just one area. I think it's going to be beautiful and make the front door a little more private so you're not constantly staring at the neighbor's yard. Really, you should be allowed to be naked in your living room without making eye contact with your neighbors.

Also look at this good boy:

I hope he likes the new stained wood deal and wraps himself all up in it

I really want to do cool gravel and poufy bush landscaping because I think it would be so cool but... this landscaping is gorgeous. These guys really loved this house and took care of it. If I have some pennies at the end, we'll see!

Almost forgot the most important part!! I want to bring back in the terracotta I originally liked - these semi-pink saltillo tiles for the covered entry. 

Yum

Throw in a simple lantern?

Those two little finishing touches have got me feeling myself. Still not sure what to do about a mailbox or house numbers but it'll come to me. Any ideas?

Layout

I feel like all I do is apologize for being late and this is no different - sorrryyyy. I don't have a life so really there's no excuse.

This time the interior of the house is not the nightmare realm my other project was. The reveals are so far not ghastly so I'm going to give you kind of an overall concept of how we are rearranging this house. Feel free to weigh in, I will disregard your opinions completely but if it makes you feel involved who am I to stop you?

Right now this is what we're working with -

The footprint for the house is essentially useless - you walk in and you have a formal living & dining room where it feels like disgusting Jello recipes were probably served as "meals"

Voila

Immediately upon entering there is a foyer with no discernible purpose:

SICK terazzo floor and room to take off all your clothes (don't act like that's not every homeowners dream)

Then through that opening there is a formal living room

This room is for when someone shows up in a carriage unannounced and you have to receive them but honestly you'd rather be doing anything else so you leave them there to die.

(same)

Then a formal dining (where the adults sit at Thanksgiving dinner)

Notice the beige carpet and nonsensical chair rail!

And in fact this is not a closet but a kitchen - there are some telltale signs like appliances but they're all from the last upgrade in 1985 so you may not recognize them for what they are:

(this bakes stuff)

(space age contraption for dish sanitizing)

(not sure what this one does)

Then we have a HUGE utility room - because who would rather have a large kitchen and a small utility room? Not me. Swap em. I want to be able to do a full dance routine while I get fully naked in the utility room.

Something about entering a home makes me want to get naked and my therapist blames my mother...

jk I don't have a therapist I'm super well adjusted and don't need one. Nothing troubling to see here.

Here's the breakfast area (where the kids sit during Thanksgiving)

You think that paneling is nice? Wait til you see the DEN

YEAH BUDDY

I'll walk you through the rest later this just has so many square feet I'm exhausted.

New Mistakes in Progress

I know it's been a little while so I'll take a moment to update you a little personally: since selling my first mistake, I've met so many new people and I have to tell you I do not care for it. So I'm getting back on the (work)horse so to speak with a new fatal mistake that is probably a terrible idea, mostly so I don't have any free time to speak to others anymore. Will I ever get married? Probably not but that's not this blog and you're just here for pics.

Here she is! She's called Kismet ♡

It's sort of midcentury modern adjacent, as though it was taken strongly into consideration and then someone opted out in the 11th hour. This is an unusual side of town for something this interesting - lots of ranch houses and new construction but this one has the potential to have a ton of character. However, on the same street there is an almost identical house so some architect in 1960 really got his money's worth out of this floorplan.

Only one family has ever lived here, it was built by an engineer and his wife - they even still have the original blue prints (yes real ones!). They... went to a retirement home... More light theories on that later.

You might be able to see we're 3/4 of the way to awesome but got arrested near limp and beige. This house's mother was a probably a ranch house and was no longer going to pay for him to be alternative so he had to get a job at the family ranch house business but underneath it all he's really cool and now that he's an adult he needs his midcentury crisis. Is this house a thinly veiled metaphor for men I am attracted to? In any case, it's been neutered and needs me (all my mistakes are starting to look the same...)

Someone got a drone for Christmas.

The roof is actually fairly new, it just needs some light fixes and maybe a power wash so don't be fooled. Windows all need to be replaced and a lot of this siding is going to need some TLC, especially in the garage.

Speaking of the garage, we have arrived at the paranormal portion of this post: arguably the best part of any post of any variety.  Feel free to weigh in but these look like some floating ass ghost orbs to me and let me tell you I am HERE FOR IT.

The lights flickered a little when I went in the garage. Is it because the service to the house is a 150? COULD BE. However I did not hesitate to yell into the garage to Grandma and Grandpa they're welcome to hang around as long as they embrace the positive change. Also don't ask me what a service is I absolutely do not know. I know that the service, according to several knowledgable men (and also my mom) is supposed to be 200 or greater. Funny story actually - the service on the previous mistake was a big fat 8.

EIGHT.

See? I learn from some of my mistakes.

Before/After

Guys I sold my house. In honor of an ugly tramp turned winsome MPDG (that's ok if it's literally an object, right?):

Those cool buzzfeed toggles are absolutely outside the realm of things I know how to make so you'll have to do with low-tech side-by-side images. HOWEVER before & after is super super stupid fun so look at these because it makes me feel like I'm HGTV:

The actual blow by blow was pretty wild but that's for another time. Now is the time to appreciate my baby child.

J